Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Married but not Connect, Can?

Ustadz, I am a woman who is getting married. For some reason, I do not love the man I would marry them. Ustadz, is it permissible in Islam conjugal living together without sexual intercourse? What position as the wife in Islam?


Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Sister MT, the following quotation from,


Not allowed in Shari'a, a pair of men and women who do not have to live in the same matrimony. Because it resembles a husband and wife who do not perform coitus as lovers is less precise penyerupaan.


To the married couple should understand that among the most noble purpose of marriage is to keep the pubic, self respect and the birth of offspring. That all is not possible without sexual intercourse.

Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam advocated precisely married to infertile women, even he banned most companions to marry the woman infertile.

From Ma'qil anhu Allaah ibn Yasar he said, "A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam and said," I got a woman who has wealth and position, only he did not give birth, if I could marry her? So he stopped him. Then came the second, he was forbidden, then comes the third, he was against it. Then he said,

تزوجوا الولود الودود فإني مكاثر بكم (رواه النسائي. (وصححه الألباني في "صحيح الترغيب 1921)

"Marry women of fertile and affectionate, I will take pride in the large number of you." (HR. Nasa'i, no. 3227, Abu Dawud, no. 2050. Declared authentic by Al-Albany in Sahih Targheeb, no. 1921 )

See the explanation of this hadith in the answer to question no. 32 668, see also the answer to question 13 492

The gathering of a husband and wife in a house without sexual intercourse, these things can happen and permissible if a husband and wife is old and does not have an orgasm again with each other. As if they both still have sexual intercourse orgasm, how they can be assembled without one another meet syahwatnya? Where she will channel her syahwatnya if not channeled to whom God has made lawful for him?

Likewise, it is conceivable occurrence and permissible if the wife is still young, but he's the pleasure of married people who are impotent or old age. And vice versa, that if a man married a woman who has an impairment does not have an orgasm or can not dijimak, while he was able to be patient while hoping a reward from Allah, or he has another wife to channel syahwatnya.


Experts jurisprudence has distinguished this problem into two parts;

1. Required at marriage is not lawful for both berjimak. These terms are not valid, then canceled anyway akadnya. This is the opinion jumhur (majority) of the clergy.

2. Required in a ceremony that no sexual intercourse. In this issue there are the details; The most powerful opinion that legitimate akadnya but the conditions of vanity, is not considered and is not worth either the condition of the husband, or wife, or from both.

(Al-Mausu'ah Al-Fiqhiyyah, 44/45)

The scholars in menghukumi distinguish between the two conditions above. The first condition, it is not permissible berjimak, while the second condition, required not perform sexual intercourse.

The explanation is as follows;

If specified in the marriage contract that sexual intercourse is not permissible, meaning that the husband after marrying his wife, the wife not lawful for him, then there is no difference of opinion among the scholars that this requirement is not valid. But they differed from the effect of these conditions on the validity of the contract. In this issue there are two opinions;

First: The majority of jurists from Shafi, Maliki and Hanbali bependapat that the terms and akadnya invalid. Because of these conditions were flawed and contradictory to the purpose of marriage. Because with that requirement, the marriage becomes meaningless, so like a fake contract.

Second: Hanafi found damaged condition, while akadnya legitimate. Because there are rules among Hanafi that marriage can not be canceled on condition damaged. While the terms may only cancel what is outside the contract.

As if it is required in the marriage contract does not perform sexual intercourse, then the differences in opinion on the legal fuqoha be three opinions;

1. Opinion Hanafi and Hanbali, are legitimate and the conditions akadnya aborted. Requirement is aborted because contrary to the purpose of the contract and contain the fall of rights that should be required for such a contract if not required. The akadnya remain valid, as these requirements are part exaggeration of the contract, then he would not cancel. The rule in the Hanafi school is that marriage can not be canceled on the condition of damaged, but the only proviso membatalakn what lies beyond the contract.

2. Opinion Maliki, that the condition was broken and akadnya also damaged. Because it occurs in the form that is prohibited by law. Then the Maliki disagree about the consequences when it occurs. Some argue that the wedding was canceled, either before or after intercourse takes place. There is also argued that marriage be canceled if not occurred relationship, and is set in case of intercourse, and the condition is aborted. This is the famous opinion in the Maliki school.

3. The Shafi'i school of thought argues, if the condition does not occur sexual intercourse, or may not be sexual intercourse except during the day or just once, for example, the wedding's off, if that condition came from the women, as contrary to the purpose of marriage. If the condition is sourced from her husband, it does not matter, because coitus is right. He should leave. While providing services is the obligation of the wife, then he should not leave her. "


A woman should not be willing to marriages of this kind, and it must be for a man not agree with women who did not want sexual intercourse between them. Should they both know that this is incompatible with the nature of the straight. God has created for every man to have a tendency towards women. Similarly, women are created have a tendency towards men.

Some people there who distribute syahwatnya to illicit street, some being channeled to road kosher. Marriage is God's teachings with permissible for men and women meet and mutual affection, and of them God made his descent.

Allah Ta'ala says,

والله جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا وجعل لكم من أزواجكم بنين وحفدة ورزقكم من الطيبات أفبالباطل يؤمنون وبنعمت الله هم يكفرون (سورة النحل: 72)

"Allah has made for you wives of your own kind, and has given you from your wives, the children and grandchildren, and give sustenance of good things. Why then they believe in the falsehood and deny the favors of Allah? "(QS. An-Nahl: 72)

ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون (سورة الروم: 21)

"And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives of your kind alone, that you tend to be and feel at ease to him and made him among you a sense of love and affection. Verily in this is truly there are signs for people who reflect. "(QS. Ar-Rum: 21)

Marriage is also a sunnah of the apostles alaihimusshalat was-salam, and they are the most important man.

Allah Ta'ala says,

ولقد أرسلنا رسلا من قبلك وجعلنا لهم أزواجا وذرية (سورة الرعد: 38)

"And We sent some Messengers before you and We gave them wives and offspring." (QS. Ar-Ra'd: 38)

هنالك دعا زكريا ربه قال رب هب لي من لدنك ذرية طيبة إنك سميع الدعاء (سورة آل عمران: 38)

"That's where Zakariya prayed to his Lord saying: 'Lord, grant me from You a good boy. Indeed, You are the Hearer of prayer ". (Qur'an, Ali Imran: 38)

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